So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
