I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
