What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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