"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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