from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
