We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
