shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
