eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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