i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
