would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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