cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize