Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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