Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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