Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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