enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize