It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
