i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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