for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
