She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
