totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
