I wanna bring you to show and tell
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
