Define "chronic" masturbator.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
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