I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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