Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
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