There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
