How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
