That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
