I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
