My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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