everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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