But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
