i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
