Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
