I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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