no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
