Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
