MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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