Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
