I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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