So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
