whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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