Porn is love you can see.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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