this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
