Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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