we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize