Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
