Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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