Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
