just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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