This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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