this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
