Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
