one two three fourrrrnication!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
