Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
