I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
