So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
