3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
