Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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