We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
