I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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